A psychologist at the Harvard Business School, Amy Cuddy, has been studying “first impressions” for more than a decade. According to her research, 80% to 90% of a first impression is based on two subconscious questions we and the people we meet ask ourselves:

• Can I trust that this person has good intentions towards me?
• Is this person competent?

In other words, if a person’s first impressions of you are friendly, competent and trustworthy, they are more likely to feel comfortable around you and open up to you. And it can happen in as little as three seconds.
Some practical guidelines to making a good first impression include:

1. BE PREPARED : Do your homework before you meet a person. If they are known to you, take time to recall your last meeting and think about the world in which the person lives. At times, I have done an online search regarding the person before I meet them.
2. BE PRESENT : Give your total attention to each person while you are with them, make eye contact with them and avoid distractions. And, keep your phone out of sight.
3. BE POSITIVE : Speak encouragingly, smile, compliment, use positive body language and check the tone of your voice and where possible affirm the person.
4. BE PERSONAL : Remember that the person you are talking to is a unique, unrepeated, valued creation of God and worth knowing and understanding. Don’t underestimate the value of beginning a conversation with small talk.
5. BE A GOOD COMMUNICATOR : Listen more than you talk so that the other person feels heard. Ask open questions and don’t interrupt when the other person is talking. Remember that people need to feel understood.
6. BE EMPATHETIC : Don’t just listen to words but empathise with the other person’s feelings, particularly when that person is confident enough to share something deep and personal with you. People usually remember how you made them feel.
7. DRESS APPROPRIATELY : What you wear has consequences. A study from the Research Council of Canada found that people are affected by your appearance, whether or not they realise it. So don’t overdress and don’t underdress.
8. BE YOURSELF : Be a first class version of yourself, not a second class version of someone else. Emotionally intelligent people know their strengths and weaknesses, their limits and their impact on others.

So how friendly and competent and trustworthy do people you meet consider you are? Interestingly, much of it has to do with first impressions. And your competence doesn’t matter unless people first come to trust you. It is never too late to work on developing the art of first impressions because first impressions can be lasting impressions, and you may not get a second chance to make a first impression.
QUESTION : What steps can you take right now to radically improve your first impression skills? Who can you ask for feedback that will assist you?